I swear she didn't look like that last week.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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