I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
