When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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