You really coming over, don't trick.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
