I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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