just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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