You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
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