I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize