he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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