I want to make a zoo with you.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
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Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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