ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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