..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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