Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize