Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
