i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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