i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize