I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
