i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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