Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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