It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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