:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
