Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
