For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
