it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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