I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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