You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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