So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
