I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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