Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is Oprah even human
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
