sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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