There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
did you just send me my own nude
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him