nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
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you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
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I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions