when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
you made out with another girl for some wings