I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level