if you like me you must not know who I am
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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