The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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