You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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