Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
