At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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