i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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