You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
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I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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