she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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