So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
