We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
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she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
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so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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