Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize