oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.