I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize