I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
