Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
