before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize