Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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