did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
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Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
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I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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