I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.